10 Self-Sabotaging Thoughts That Are Costing You Time, Money & Freedom
And the one mindset shift that helps you overcome all of them.
I know more about online business than 90% of people.
That sounds horribly arrogant, and it goes against every British instinct I have to say that out loud. But (she says, cringing) it’s probably true.
A few months ago, my husband and I were sitting on the beach in Thailand, playing a card game called “The Ultimate Game for Couples” over a couple of cold beers. One of my questions to him was: “What do I know more about than 90% of people?” Without missing a beat, he said, “Online business.”
And after a quick mental scroll through the last 15 years, from membership sites and online courses to blogging, ecommerce, coaching, and affiliate marketing, I couldn’t really argue. Not without ignoring a whole lot of hard-won experience.
What struck me more, though, wasn’t his answer. It was how quick I was to second-guess and question myself. I immediately started thinking of all the things I don’t know, and my little nagging anxiety/fear voice popped up whispering, “Who do you think you are?”
For quite a long time recently, that voice has held way too much power. Especially as I’ve aged. I’m pretty sure menopause has a hand in increasing anxiety for us girls, but also it was because I was spending too much time thinking, rather than doing.
After years of telling others to “stop thinking, start doing,” I found myself overanalysing everything and convincing myself I needed to get ‘clear’ and ‘figure stuff out’ before taking action.
But interestingly as I started to take daily action and post articles, notes, send emails, create products, and experiment with different ideas, my confidence shot up!
It hasn’t been overnight or linear, but it has steadily improved as more parts of the puzzle have fallen into place.
Turns out, the fastest route to confidence isn’t journaling or planning or another online course. It’s momentum and getting out of your head into action.
So whatever version of self-doubt you’re wrestling with, or whatever story you’re telling yourself about why you’re not ready…
There’s one simple truth you need to remember:
Action dissolves doubt.
And that’s why, no matter which of the following 10 self-sabotaging thoughts sound familiar to you, there is one single answer to resolve them all….
Let’s dive in.
1. I Don’t Know Where to Start
I know at my age the secret to health and longevity is to eat a clean diet, strength train and move more.
At 52 years young, I’ve had a multitude of personal trainers over the years, read hundreds of diet books, read thousands of articles on nutrition and health and pretty much know what I need to do to be the best version of myself.
And yet…
I still look for ‘how to get started’ strength training routines online. I’m still asking inane questions, (these days on ChatGPT,) such as ‘best foods for max energy’, ‘best strength training routines for women over 50’ etc.
Deep down I know how to start, and if I truly don’t the answers are laid out in excruciating detail all around me.
Online business is exactly the same. There are a million YouTube videos, TikTok videos, podcast interviews, courses, and step by step examples.
You do know where to start. It’s just fear getting in the way.
The trick is to just start!
Pick a platform, pick a model, pick a target audience and begin. It’s the ONLY route to clarity.
2. There’s Too Much Choice, I Don’t Know What Niche to Choose
Ah, this old chestnut.
It’s one I used to battle with in the early days. I spent way too long trying to pick the “perfect” niche. The one idea, topic, or theme that would unlock all the doors and turn me into the next Marie Forleo meets Tim Ferriss.
But after 15 years of building businesses on the road, I’ve learned that your niche is not so important.
Your people are.
Who do you want to serve, talk to, or work with every day?
That’s your niche.
For me, it’s freedom-seeking, open-minded, over-50s who want more adventure, more independence, and a portable income to fund it all. That clarity has been there since I started in 2010, it just took me a while to articulate it properly.
And so over the years, my brand name may have evolved, as has my business model. But my why and who have always stayed the same.
So if you’re spinning in circles trying to “find your niche,” stop thinking in topics and start thinking in people. Then choose a path forward using one of these three approaches:
Start a brand as just you. You, yourself & I, simply exploring your curiosities – umpteen personal brands online are doing that these days – Sahil Bloom, Dan Koe, Jenna Kutcher (more recently an online business coach – but has explored multiple niches in her time). There are so many outlets for our curiosities these days you can afford to be more experimental.
Pick your strongest interest or curiosity and put all your other ideas in a little black book. Go with it until it works without you, and then if you like you can pivot and pursue another interest.
Pick one idea as your business route, and pursue all your other interests as hobbies! As Marie Forleo says, ‘not every interest needs to be a business’
No matter which route you choose the key is to pick one path and take action!
3. I Don’t Know What to Write/Say/Publish, Who’s Going to Listen to Me Anyway
Another of my own corkers.
To obliterate this particular limiting belief I’m attempting to write every day of the week (case in point this article).
However, even yesterday I found myself going down a rabbit hole of reading about Tim Denning’s writing routine, Kieran Drew’s formula for introductions and Nicolas Cole and Dickie Smith’s reasons we don’t start writing.
Rather than write, because I was suddenly gripped with fear, I ‘researched’.
However, the only route through this self sabotaging thought is to take action.
Write your post; record your podcast; make your video, in spite of your fears. There is no other way other than rigorous practice.
4. I Don’t Have Enough Experience, I Haven’t Made Enough Money, I Don’t Have Any Credibility
Otherwise known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’.
Join the club. We all have it. Very few people actually believe they are deserving of their success.
I kept a screenshot of a post I saw a year or so ago by Justin Welsh ($10M+ creator).
The key here is ‘high performing person’, in other words those that ‘take action’. If you’re in the arena with the rest of us, congrats! Embrace your imposter syndrome and keep moving forward in spite of it.
5. It’s Not Finished/Good Enough
An old mentor of mine used to say ‘get it done, then get it right’.
There’s magic in taking imperfect action.
It’s called momentum.
Momentum is far more important than perfection. Your work will get better the more you do.
The more feedback you get (by way of engagement, sales, collaborations etc), the more you can improve your messages, content and offers.
Forget about your work being amazing, instead focus on it being consistent.
Perfectionism is simply another form of….
6. I’ll Do It Tomorrow, I’m Not Ready Yet
Despite what you may think, procrastination isn’t always rooted in fear.
Sometimes it’s a sign that you’re moving in the wrong direction.
If you really don’t want to do what you’ve tasked yourself with doing, it’s a good idea to take a minute to identify whether it’s because you’re just being lazy, are fearful of the outcome (or lack of potential outcome), or whether there’s another reason.
Perhaps you’re doing it because everyone else is and so you think you should be too.
Perhaps you’re trying to prove a point to someone (or yourself) instead of chasing a passion.
Be bold and identify the root cause of your procrastination and address it head-on.
Then once you’ve determined what’s important to you, break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and set deadlines for yourself.
Sometimes momentum is all you need to get the ball rolling!
7. This New Idea is so Much Better, I Should Focus on That Instead
Otherwise known as ‘bright shiny object’ syndrome.
Personally I love a bright shiny object. Without it my husband and I may never have discovered Amazon FBA and wouldn’t be where we are financially today.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being on the lookout for opportunities, however the trick is to recognise whether the opportunity is an extension of what you’re already doing and can help move the needle or whether you’re just running away from hard work.
If the BSO looks too good to be true, it usually is, and if it promises great results without any sacrifice, that’s also unlikely to be the solution you’re looking for.
Everything costs in the end, whether it’s time, money or pure hard graft.
And more often than not, all you need to achieve your goals is consistent action coupled with some patience.
8. I’m Not Cut Out for This, I Don’t Have What it Takes
An extension of imposter syndrome is a general lack of self confidence.
As I said at the start of this article, I know deep down I probably know more about online business than 90% of the population. It’s highly unlikely there’s a question about online business I don’t know the answer to. So I know I have what it takes regards my knowledge.
However, I have a million self doubts over my age, my weight, my writing abilities, my photography/videography skills (or lack thereof), my ability to engage people, or be interesting, or unique. You name it!
I could probably fill a page with my self doubts.
The answer here is to practice self-compassion, surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you, and take action anyway.
You’re much more brilliant than you know!
9. I Can’t Seem to Stick to a Schedule, I’m Not Disciplined Enough
I’m terrible at routine!
Especially now we’re travelling in different apartments or hotel rooms, different time zones, planes, trains, buses. My lifestyle is definitely not conducive to a regular daily routine.
And yet one of the most important disciplines when building your online business is consistency.
The key is to pick your weekly non-negotiables and your most important PQO’s (a term coined by Brendan Burchard in his book – High Performance Habits).
Here’s how it works:
Non-negotiables are the handful of key actions you commit to completing every week, no matter where you are or how chaotic life gets.
PQOs (prolific quality outputs), are the repeatable outputs that drive growth and results in your business. They’re what you become known for.
A few real-world examples of PQOs:
Amy Porterfield → podcast episodes
MrBeast → high-impact YouTube videos
Tom Cruise → blockbuster action films (Mission: Impossible is basically his PQO!)
Seth Godin → blog posts & books
Apple → annual product launches (iPhone, AirPods, etc.)
Your PQO might be a newsletter, a video, a product, a reel. Anything that helps you grow your brand or revenue. The key is choosing something you can produce prolifically and consistently.
Once you know your non-negotiables and your PQOs, focus on those each week. If everything else goes out the window like client calls, social media posts, admin, even your inbox, but your PQOs still get done?
You’re still moving forward.
10. I Don’t Have Enough Time to Work on My Business
Years ago I did an awesome interview with a doctor-turned-author – Julie Coffey who said;
If you have passion, you have the time
That phrase stuck with me because it’s so darn true. How excited and energetic do we get when we’re doing something we love. You can bet we make time for it!
Seth Goden said it best with one of his blog posts – After the emergency;
“If we need to wait until after the short-term emergency is settled, it’s unlikely we’re ever going to get to work on the long-term important work.
Of course, we want to do “everything we can” when an emergency strikes. But the standard for that has always involved tradeoffs. Perhaps we should resist trading the important work for the urgent distraction of right now.“
Clarity Comes From Action
Self-sabotage doesn’t show up as dramatic breakdowns. It creeps in quietly.
One hesitation. One more YouTube tutorial. One scroll through someone else’s success story while convincing yourself you’re “not as good as anyone else.”
I’ve been there more times than I care to admit.
And there’s only one thing that’s ever cut through the noise.
Action.
Not perfect action. Sometimes not even consistent action. Just one step in front of the other.
A first scrappy blog post.
A terrible sales page you’ll cringe at later.
The wobbly first steps of launching something before you feel qualified.
Doing beats thinking every time, even if it’s not so good.
One of my favourite quotes;
“By being willing to be a bad artist, you have a chance to be an artist, and perhaps, over time, a very good one.” - Julie Cameron
So if you're stuck in indecision, tangled in doubt, or spinning your wheels waiting for clarity, here’s the truth:
Clarity doesn’t come from thinking. It comes from doing.
Your brain catches up after your feet start moving.
So go. Take the step. Write the thing. Publish the post. Launch the offer.
You can course-correct as you go. But only if you start.
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