Yesterday I spotted a poignant post in a nomad Facebook group.
"I've been here two weeks and I'm thinking of going home. I'm lonely and everything feels overwhelming." Was the general gist of the post.
Thankfully positive responses flooded in, because if you’ve travelled for any length of time, the chances are you’ve felt that way at some point too!
That moment when the excitement of a new place fades and reality hits. When you're sitting in a beautiful apartment, in an amazing city, living your 'dream life'... and you've never felt more alone.
I've been there.
I remember to this day, 2004(ish) sitting at a coffee shop, with the Sydney Opera House on one side and Darling Harbour Bridge on the other, crying into my English Breakfast Tea!
I was halfway across the world in a completely new destination, the sun was shining, the buildings were awe inspiring and I’d escaped the dreary UK for Australia for crying out loud. But I was utterly alone.
We’ve all felt it at some point.
But after years of building community while travelling, the good news is that loneliness isn't permanent, and connection is a skill you can master.
The Reality of Travel Loneliness
When you see all the fabulous photos and videos of white sandy beaches, azure crystal clear waters and a plethora of bucket list destinations on Insta, you’re sure that every person behind and in front of the camera, must be the happiest person alive!
But what the camera doesn’t tell you about location independence, is that the freedom might be incredible, but it comes with its own set of challenges.
That first days in a new place can be particularly tough. You're figuring out the basics like where to shop and how to get around, while also craving meaningful connection.
It's easy to get stuck in a rut, working from your apartment, ordering delivery, and convincing yourself you're "just focusing on work" for now.
I've done it.
But the reality is, community won't come knocking - you have to go out and create it.
Taking the First Step
The hardest part is always the first step.
Walking into a coffee shop where digital nomads gather.
Joining your first meetup.
Posting in a Facebook group that you're looking to connect.
Yes, it's scary. Yes, it feels vulnerable. But so many other people in the room are feeling exactly the same way.
Building Your Connection Network
Let me share some practical ways to start building your community:
1. Digital Nomad Programs
If you're just starting out, programs like Hackers Paradise or Nomad Cruise can be perfect. Yes, they're an investment, but they provide instant community and support.
Likewise if you’ve been travelling with a partner and this your first foray into solo travel, groups like these are great starting grounds for making friends and building confidence.
2. Co-working Spaces
More than just a place to work, these are community hubs. Many organize social events, skill-sharing sessions, and networking opportunities. Plus, you'll meet people who understand your lifestyle because they're living it too.
3. Online Communities
Join location-specific Facebook groups and actually engage. When someone posts about feeling lonely (like that person in Bangkok), be the one to suggest meeting for coffee. I've made some incredible friends this way.
4. Volunteer Opportunities
Sites like Workaway.info offer chances to contribute to local communities while meeting people. Whether it's teaching English, helping at an animal sanctuary, or working on an organic farm, these experiences create instant connections.
Creating Regular Connections
The real secret to building lasting connections abroad is consistency. Find places you genuinely enjoy and make them part of your routine. That friendly face at the local coffee shop becomes a conversation starter. The regular at your yoga class becomes a lunch buddy.
Most importantly, don't wait for the perfect moment or venue. I've found some of my greatest travel friends in the most unexpected places - a swimming pool in Thailand, a Visa line in Penang, even a local gym in Cyprus.
Going Digital (The Smart Way)
While social media can sometimes make us feel more isolated, it's also one of our most powerful tools for connection. Beyond the usual Facebook groups, look for:
Local WhatsApp groups that organize regular meetups
Instagram location tags to find events happening right now
Meetup.com groups aligned with your interests
Expat forums specific to your location
FB Events in the local area
The key is to use these platforms as a starting point, not the end goal. Make connections online, but try to move them into the real world quickly.
The Time Factor
Perhaps the most important lesson I've learned about building community while travelling is that it takes time.
Just like that post I mentioned at the start - two weeks isn't enough to judge a new life.
I learned this lesson way back when I was 19. I'd taken a job at a caravan park and it was winter. For three long months, it was just me and a handful of permanent residents.
I'd call my Dad in tears, desperately homesick and lonely. His response was always the same - "Just give it time, love."
He was right. By the time summer rolled around, I had a thriving social circle and was having the time of my life. That experience taught me that sometimes you just need to give yourself time to adjust to a new reality.
If you find travel lonely, adopt slow travel and give yourself at least three months in a place. In my experience, that's how long it takes to:
Move past the tourist phase
Develop genuine connections
Start feeling like a local
Build a real support network
When to Push Through
Sometimes loneliness is simply telling you to try harder. Push through when:
You're still in your first few months
You've identified potential connections but haven't acted
You're letting fear hold you back
The Next Step
Building your travel community isn't about grand gestures or forced interactions. It's about small, consistent actions that add up over time.
Start with one small step this week. Join a local Facebook group. Sign up for a coworking day pass. Attend one community event.
Your people are out there. Sometimes you just need to be brave enough to find them.
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Aah, I remember the days of travel where you communicated using a public phone and used a paper map, and left messages at PO Boxes - lol
I travelled on my own in my early 20s and after 3 days I was bored with my own company.
You just have to get out of your comfort zone I'm afraid.
It was the making of me and I know without a doubt that if I had travelled with a friend I would have missed out on so much.