Viva Las Vegas: A Non-Gambler's Love Letter

Confessions of a Brit abroad who can't count cards but loves the fountains.

I have to be honest, I don’t really get gambling.

I love going to a Casino (Macau has been my favourite to date), and pretending I know my way around a Blackjack table, but fundamentally - a) I don’t understand odds & probabilities (maths was never my strong point), b) why people spend a LOT of hard earned cash on what is essentially a game rigged against them.

I literally just chatted with a guy from Manchester sitting next to me watching the footie (US vs Australia) who said he’s £2k down!

(And yes, I am writing this post while sitting in a bar in Vegas watching a football match - gotta love digital nomadism! 😂)

The Front Yard pub - Ellis Island Hotel

But back to gambling - the most I ever take to a table is $100 and believe me that’s not me being sanctimonious, it’s because I have zero clue what I’m doing, I know I’m likely to lose, & I’m only there for a fun croupier & a group of folks who love a laugh.

(Quick aside, I once made $100 last about 4 hours on a short 3 day cruise in Australia, mainly because the table I was playing with were fab, they helped me - which in turn helped them - and we played together as a team. There’s a lesson in that! 😉)

My husband on the other hand takes blackjack very seriously and once had designs on starting his own online casino, but that’s another story I’ll probably never tell 😂

Sorry before I move off gambling (this was meant to be a short intro) here’s a cheat sheet I wrote myself the other night, which didn’t work at all!!! 😂 (God loves a tryer).

Jo, Where Are You Going With This Post?

Vegas of course!

Why would you come to this Disneyland for adults unless you want to gamble?

For a million other reasons! (And yes you introverts there’s plenty here for you too.)

The Sheer Daftness of the Strip

Ok extroverts first.

Vegas is the brightest, loudest, most energetic & colourful place I think I’ve ever been.

Just 5 minutes walking down the strip & you’re greeted by giant gorillas, girls in feathers (and not much else), rappers, break-dancers, magicians, fortune tellers, a Michael Jackson impersonator, and at least three Elvises (Elvi?), all in the space of about 200 metres.

The hotel foyers have mini zoos, canals, gondolas, roller coasters, art collections, museums, aquariums, statues, and one of my favourites - indiscriminate shows.

One minute you’re walking along minding your own business & the next a dazzling light & music show bathes the wall, the waterfall or the building in front of you for 20 minutes, as you stand mesmerised and delighted!

The entire place is designed to remove every trace of ordinary life and replace it with buzz, lights, noise, colour and anything that completely heightens the senses.

And for someone like me who is hugely energised by external stimulation, it’s perfect! (Only for a week or 2 though as there’s no beach!)

The Shows

There are also hundreds of shows in Vegas and I’m not exaggerating.

Cirque du Soleil alone has six or seven different productions running at any given time, plus magic, comedy, music residencies, dance, drag, tributes, immersive experiences, you name it.

Menopause the Musical is apparently one of the longest-running shows on the strip, which I threatened to take my husband to, but as we’re here for his birthday he narrowly escaped that one. 😂

The first night we arrived we headed to The Sphere to see No Doubt. And like everything in Vegas it was bigger, louder & more colourful than any other concert I’ve seen in my life.

The graphics were out of this world & this kind of technology is set to change the future whether it’s welcome or not.

Next week we’re off to see (?) - I can’t say as it’s a surprise for my husband and he might read this, but safe to say it will be spectacular & I look forward to sharing the experience afterwards. (NB: very relevant for us 80s kids!) 😁🕺

Gordon Ramsey Owns Vegas

I had not realised, before coming here, that Gordon Ramsay has completely annexed the entire city!

There are Gordon Ramsay restaurants in nearly every casino. Gordon Ramsay Burger. Gordon Ramsay Steak. Gordon Ramsay Pub. Gordon Ramsay Fish and Chips.

(Yet to be tried, but his Beef Wellington we had in Dubai was out of this world!)

But it’s hilarious. This fellow Brit’s cussing face beams down from every billboard and his name is on menus, towels, slot machines, possibly even the tap water.

I have no idea how one man got this much exposure in one city, but credit to him. He’s done the Vegas version of personal branding harder than any influencer alive!

For The Introverts

Ok go on then Jo. (I can feel your eyes drilling into me). Tell me how a loud, noisy, over stimulated environment like Vegas could ever suit an introvert.

Ok maybe the place itself can’t, but here are my top most beautiful & peaceful experiences:

1. The Bellagio Water Fountains

I can’t explain why these make me cry, but they do, every time. We’ve walked past them three times this week and stopped each time.

Water set to music shouldn’t be that affecting and yet there I stand, watery-eyed, while teenagers around me film it on their phones and Rhett patiently waits for me to finish having a moment.

Next week my daughter & I are taking a blanket & snacks to sit for a couple of hours & watch all the shows as it’s different music & water displays each time. And it’s beautiful. ❤️

2. Cirque de Soleil

Elegant, beautifully choreographed, athletic, dramatic & simply stunning.

These shows are unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and I challenge anyone not to leave unaffected.

3. Other Quiet Corners On The Strip

• The Bellagio Conservatory & Botanical Gardens — free to enter, seasonal floral displays the size of small forests, stunning and almost meditative.

• The gardens at Wynn and Encore — fresh floral installations, calm spaces tucked away from the casino floor.

• The Strip itself at sunrise — go for a walk between about 6 and 8am and you’ll have the whole place almost to yourself. The neon’s still on, the air’s cool, and you’ll see Vegas in a way nobody who arrives after lunch ever does. (One of my favourite ways to see everything!)

The Strip at 6.30am this morning

4. The Mountains

Remember though, the Strip is a just a tiny part of Vegas. (Which is ironic given how ‘big’ it is!)

The rest of Vegas sits in a wide desert valley surrounded on all sides by ancient, beautifully eroded mountains, millions of years old, and that will still be here long after the last casino has closed.

The view from our 15th floor apartment window faces them, and most mornings I’ll have a cuppa just sitting watching the light change across them.

All you need to do is pick a direction, drive 30 minutes, and you’re in desert and mountain country.

Here’s what’s potentially on our list for next week:

• Red Rock Canyon - about 30 minutes from the Strip. Towering red sandstone cliffs, a scenic loop drive, hiking trails for every level. You can be back in your hotel for dinner.

• Valley of Fire State Park - about an hour out. Bright red rock formations, ancient petroglyphs, landscapes that look like another planet. (This is the strongest contender for a day out)

• Hoover Dam and Lake Mead - about 45 minutes out. Enormous reservoir, walking trails, plus the engineering feat of the dam itself.

• Mount Charleston - about 45 minutes out. Forested mountain area with hiking and cooler temperatures than the valley. Apparently the locals go up there when the desert gets too much.

You can spend a week in Vegas, do half a day at each of these, and feel like you’ve had two completely different holidays.

The Best Part of This Trip

The best thing about this trip isn’t actually any of the above.

My daughter Cerys flew in from London last Saturday to spend four weeks with us. She’s 20, at music college in London, and the last time we lived under the same roof was nearly a year ago.

We’ve been watching the football together in the pool in the afternoons & we’ve got a little family bet going on. (Hence I’m cheering for USA as I write this!) 🇺🇸

We’re spending quality time, laughing until we’ve cried (we have that effect on each other), watched movies, sun baked, had deep discussions and taken the piss out of father (as Mums & daughters do).

My lovely daughter ❤️

Rhett’s 50th is in 2.5 weeks (yes he’s my toy boy - does a 4 year age gap make me a cougar? 😂)

So Vegas is the entree, and Cabo, Mexico is the main course (just 2 weeks here in Vegas).

But we’ll be having a few days out & fun adventures here for his birthday. It’s not everyday you turn the big 5-0 right!

So, Should You Come?

Well clearly it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a lot more than dancing girls & casinos.

You can come for the spectacle, for the food, for the shows, the fountains, the flamingos, the gondolas, or the mountains.

But I think it’s somewhere that should be experienced just once in your life.

For me, the thing I love most about Vegas isn’t the noise or the neon or the shows themselves. It’s the feeling of the place.

Vegas is a city of dreams. Every billboard is someone’s name in lights. Every show is someone’s career landing on the biggest stage they could have imagined.

A lad who won Americas Got Talent is doing a residency here. The Sphere is hosting bands who played pubs 30 years ago. New Kids on the Block still exist here (!)

It’s loud, it’s silly, it’s wildly excessive, and somewhere underneath all of it, it’s a city that makes you believe you can achieve all your dreams!

That is, if you don’t lose all your money at the Blackjack table!