When the Dream Becomes Reality (and Scares the Living Poop Out of You)

Why going after what you want can feel terrifying right before it gets good

It’s 3am as I write this. I can’t sleep.

Today is my last day in this lovely little apartment on the outskirts of London that I’ve called home for the last few weeks.

When I get up shortly, it’ll be the last time gorgeous little Nala (the Shih Tzu we’ve been looking after) will leap onto my bed and lick my nose.

And last Thursday, before she went off to Paris to celebrate a friend’s 21st, was the last time I hugged my 19-year-old daughter for the next few months.

Tomorrow I leave for Brazil.

Over the next couple of weeks my sister and I will party like it’s 1999 at the Rio Carnival, and towards the end of Feb my husband will join me and we’ll start our great backpacking adventure across South America and Canada.

We have no home, no fixed abode, and no fixed plans. Just a 10kg backpack, the clothes we’re wearing, and a dream to travel the world.

Sounds idealistic right? (Or completely barking mad!)

So Why Am I Not More Excited?…

Why, instead of lying here buzzing with anticipation, am I staring at the ceiling with my heart thumping through my chest while my brain runs through every worst-case scenario it can find?

• Maybe it’s the raging menopausal anxiety. (I’m 53, not 23 after all.)

• Maybe it’s the brand new business and product I’ve just launched on Amazon and a to-do list as long as your arm.

• Maybe it’s leaving my 19-year-old daughter in London. (To pursue her dreams no less, but still…)

• Maybe it’s the arthritis in my knees and the fact I don’t quite have the energy I had in my twenties.

• Or maybe it’s because Brazil (and South America) is a complete unknown. After 13+ years in Asia, living in possibly one of the safest countries on the planet, this continent comes with tales of violent crime, muggings, and theft that make London look like a village fête.

Of course, it’s all of the above and more, so my 3am brain? Totally warranted.

The Moment Your Dream Becomes Reality

This is always the moment though.

Right before (or as) your dreams become reality. Right before the thing you’ve been planning and plotting and daydreaming about actually happens.

Because until this moment, it all lives safely in your head. It’s a fantasy. A hazy daydream with pink cloud filters and a string quartet.

My AI inspired image of me dreaming of backpacking in Rio…

If you’ve been following my journey, you’ll know that in January I launched my Travel Challenge Cards on Amazon. Right up until the moment they went live I was in full excitement mode. “These are brilliant, everyone will love them, they’ll fly off the shelves!”

Then launch day hit. I was in tears. What have I done, I cried? Why would anyone buy these? Everyone’s going to laugh at me.

Dream. Reality. Boom.

It’s like the dream keeps you afloat, and then reality throws you to the ground with a thud.

But I have great news!

The fear is temporary.

Tomorrow night I’ll be boots on the ground in Rio. And I already know what happens next because it happens every time.

I’ll step off the plane, hit the warm air, hear a language I don’t understand, see a city I’ve never been to, and all my senses will start to fire.

New place. New culture. New food. New people. New sights. New everything.

All of a sudden I’m learning, experiencing, adapting and immersing myself in my surroundings. The fear will fall away and be replaced with wonder, curiosity and excitement.

(Much like the cards by the way, which have had a super solid start. 90+ sold, 3 x 5-star reviews, and my pre-launch excitement and confidence has come flooding back!)

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

So why does fear hold so many of us back when it’s so fleeting?

One of my favourite quotes is from the film We Bought a Zoo. Matt Damon sits with his on-screen son and says

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

That’s what I mean by fleeting.

One taxi ride to the airport. One plane ride to Rio. That’s all it takes and my fear will fade away.

One promotion. One post to launch my cards and get my first sale. Fear gone.

So what’s your 20 seconds of insane courage? What’s the thing you’d do if you stopped letting your fear get in the way?

Is it:

• Publishing your first post?

• Sending a pitch?

• Launching your product?

Or maybe it’s:

• Booking the flights

• Having a conversation you’ve been avoiding

• Or even uprooting your entire life and backpacking across the world with no fixed plan. (Hmmm 🤔)

Whatever it is, please know your fear is real and valid, no matter how small the task at hand.

Fear stops us doing something genuinely stupid or dangerous. It’s like an invisible safety net that gives us just enough pause to make sure we’re not putting ourselves in harm’s way.

But we have to be emotionally intelligent enough to recognise when fear has done its job and is now just holding us back. When it’s no longer protecting us but preventing us.

It’s down to us to instinctively know when we need to move forward anyway, in spite of it.

Because What’s the Alternative?

And so of course I will get on that plane tomorrow. I will lug my far too heavy backpack to the hotel in Rio, and I will immerse myself in the carnival and our backpacking adventure, all while navigating work commitments, dodgy knees and FaceTiming my daughter as often as she’ll allow. (I suspect not very often! 😂)

Because what’s the alternative?

What happens if we don’t chase our dreams and instead only let them live as movies in our head?

Let me tell you. Nothing happens.

This year becomes next year, and the year after, and the year after.

And without trying to bring the room down too much, we age, we shrink, and we become the number one regret of the dying, as palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware recorded:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

Confidence Comes From Doing

So what choices have you not made that you know are ready to be made?

You’re here reading this, thinking about your life, so I already know you’re ready for action.

And that right there is the secret.

Action.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, confidence comes after action not before.

We are braver than we realise or ever admit, and we can do so much more than we think we can.

Think of every challenge you’ve faced in life to date. Divorce, job loss, health scares, financial disasters, heartbreak, failure. You’re still here. Still living. Still growing. Still doing the things.

Yes, danger lurks. Yes, we need to be mindful and aware of our surroundings, but life is short and the world is wide.

Whatever you’re scared of, go do it.

There are no wrong choices. Only different paths. And most of us reading this are in the extraordinarily privileged position of being able to choose our path.

Not everyone gets that. So why waste it playing small?

As for me, this time tomorrow I’ll be on a plane to Rio, backpack in the overhead locker, no firm plans beyond showing up for Carnival.

Wish me luck.

Jo 😘

Oh and go and buy yourself a set of my Travel Challenge Cards. Want to push yourself out of your comfort zone starting this weekend in your home town? Start with a fun set of cards to nudge you to action! 😊 (see what I did there 😉)