Where Are All the Toilet Seats in Italy? (And Other Italian Quirks)
From mad drivers to bed debates. The real story of travelling through Italy.
Italy. The land of emperors and espresso, of Roman roads that still outlast some modern motorways, and of volcanoes that have shaped more history than most kings.
It’s a country of saints, scooters, and more UNESCO sites than you can shake a gelato at.
Greek myths washed up along its southern shores two and a half millennia ago.
The Etruscans had a go before Rome organised everyone, and Sicily collected conquerors like fridge magnets, Phoenicians, Greeks, Arabs, Normans, all leaving their design influence as parting gifts.
Even the hand gestures have their own dialects, the churches have better art than many countries, and the average coffee is so good it should probably be taxed as a public service.
I recently spent 4 weeks exploring some of its nooks and crannies, driving (for my sins) from the chaos of Naples to the UNESCO treasures of Sicily, through the beauty of Puglia, and ending on a high with a 2.5-day whirlwind tour of the ancient city of Rome.
And I loved every minute.
Well, almost every minute.
Because for all its beauty, passion and pasta, Italy also comes with a few delightful quirks that test your patience, your sanity, and occasionally your bladder control.
Every country has its idiosyncrasies. These are Italy’s (as observed by one slightly frazzled but still smiling traveller.)
1. Driving in Italy: A Full-Contact Sport
The Amalfi Coast
This was one of the most nail biting experiences of my life! I thought diving with bull sharks was scary, try driving the Amalfi Coast.
One minute you’re hugging a cliff edge with a bus coming straight at you, the next you’re reversing up a one-way street because the satnav insists it’s fine. (It’s not.) The roads are so narrow you start breathing in just to make the car smaller.
At one point, I was convinced we’d end up wedged between a cliff and a Fiat Panda, living off gelato until the rescue crew arrived.
The Mario Andrettis
Then come the drivers. Every single one believes they’re in a Formula One qualifier.
They drive fast, they drive close, and they drive with passion. If you leave even half a car length between you and the next vehicle, an Italian will appear in it, beeping his horn wildly while you brake for dear life.
Even huge buses and coaches drive so close behind you it feels intimate. I’ve had less eye contact on a date.
The Speed Limits
The speed limits, meanwhile, change more often than a runway model.
130 to 90 to 40 in about 100 yards, and then back again.
While I did my best to accommodate I was definitely the only one! When discussing one day with our tour guide, he laughed and said ‘they’re just a suggestion’. 😳
The Roadworks
And just when you think you’ve conquered the chaos, you hit the roadworks.
I don’t think I drove a single kilometre of uninterrupted tarmac in an entire month.
Endless cones. Endless holes. Not a single workman in sight.
But somehow, against all odds, we made it through without a scratch.
No dents, no arguments, just slightly higher blood pressure and a renewed respect for Italian insurance companies.
2. The Great Toilet Mystery
Let’s talk about the toilets, because someone needs to.
For reasons no one can properly explain, most public toilets simply don’t have seats. Gone. Removed. Vanished.
Perhaps it’s to discourage lingering. Perhaps it’s a cultural quirk. All I know is, my knees aren’t built for that kind of balancing act.
And don’t get me started on the taps. If you find yourself waving your hands in the air like a magician and nothing happens, look down. There’s probably a foot pedal. It’s like a little plumbing-based escape room.
It’s all part of the adventure, though someone give me a Japanese toilet any day. Warm loo seats, music, and a level of respect for the human posterior that Europe has yet to master.
3. Where Have All the Vegetables Gone?
Italy is famous for the Mediterranean diet, right? All that fresh produce, glistening olive oil, and colourful salads bursting with flavour?
Apparently, that’s a myth.
Outside of tomatoes, aubergine parmigiana, and the odd grilled courgette, I barely saw a vegetable.
As someone with Hashimotos I prefer to eat gluten free. (Yeah, yeah I know, Italy the home of pizza and pasta, not exactly conducive).
But I’d pinned my hopes on gorgeous Mediterranean salads, bright, crisp and full of life. Instead I got a lot of lettuce, a bit of tomato, and some dry tuna or a reluctant slice of mozzarella if the chef was feeling generous.
Finding gluten-free alternative options was a bit like panning for gold. And without veg to balance things out, let’s just say my culinary dreams took a bit of a hit.
Apologies to the Italian food lovers. I know, to not love Italian food is practically a crime. But if anyone spots a stray broccoli wandering through Rome, please send it my way.
4. The “Extra Bed” Surprise
If you’re travelling with someone who isn’t your partner, prepare yourself for the Great Bed Debate.
Travelling with my sister meant we often needed two beds and therefore we always picked the two bed options. Clear enough I would think.
But rarely did a two bedroom apartment actually have two beds let alone two rooms.
If we were lucky we’d have one main bed and an extra sofa bed in the living room that had been around since Mussolini, and if we wanted to sleep on the extra ‘bed’ with springs digging into our nether regions we’d have to pay extra!
Apparently for some hosts, the charge is based on occupancy, not beds and as there were two of us, we only qualified for one bed.
This one tested my patience more than once. I spent far too many evenings copy-and-pasting polite protest messages into Apple Translate, trying to explain that “two beds” actually means two beds.
The replies were always very charming, completely unintelligible, and ended with smiley emojis — which I took to mean “nice try, English lady.”
In the end, we gave up arguing and just shared.
5. The Case of the Missing Directions
You’d think a country with so much history would have mastered signage by now, but no. Italy prefers mystery.
Attractions, museums, even major landmarks often have zero direction. You find yourself circling cathedrals like a confused pigeon, muttering, “There must be a door somewhere.”
Occasionally there’s a small brown sign that says “Museo,” but by the time you spot it, you’ve already passed.
Google Maps became our best friend, (though at times even it seemed confused). Half the time, the “entrance” was a locked side gate or someone’s kitchen.
Finding your way in Italy is an art form. The trick is to relax, take a deep breath, and remember: if you get lost, you’ll probably discover a great café.
6. The Tourists (and Their Tripods)
I realise the irony in saying this as a tourist who takes photos, but the sheer number of people clamouring for the perfect shot at historical sites is something else.
Some of the world’s most extraordinary monuments including the Colosseum, Pompeii, the Pantheon, are now dominated by selfie sticks and full-scale photoshoots.
There’s always one girl in a floaty dress holding up an entire queue while her boyfriend takes 47 shots “just to get the light right.” Meanwhile, everyone else is craning to see what they actually came for.
I’m all for capturing memories, but there’s a fine line between taking a photo and turning a 2,000-year-old monument into your personal catwalk.
Take the picture, smile, and let the next person have a turn. History deserves more respect than your latest Instagram reel.
But before I sound like a grumpy Gen X traveller with a clipboard full of complaints, let me tell you some of the things I loved about Italy!
You Had Me at Gelato
Anyone else convince themselves that trying every flavour is ‘research?’ (Just me?!)
By week three, I’d stopped pretending otherwise. Pistachio, hazelnut, stracciatella, lemon, tiramisu — you name it, I’ve tested it. No wonder my jeans started to feel a bit snug.
Did you know gelato simply means “frozen” in Italian, but its roots stretch right back to ancient Rome?
Early versions were made for emperors who sent runners up the mountains to fetch snow, which was then flavoured with honey and fruit juice. (Talk about room service.)
The story goes that Emperor Nero had a particular obsession. He’d chill wine and fruit purées with snow brought down from the Apennines, long before freezers were a thing.
Centuries later, the Sicilians perfected it, Florence claimed it, and the rest of the world just said thank you. 🙏
And that’s really the heart of Italy for me. Everything has a story. Every region, every street, every plate of food. You can’t move without tripping over something historic, artistic, or full of legend and myth.
It’s a country that’s truly alive, from church bells to car horns to expressive dialogue happening on every street corner.
Plus, for someone who’s more of a tea lover, their coffee is golden. Even the service-station Americano was worth each pit stop.
Add to that the unapologetically strong Aperol Spritzes and the beautiful October weather, and we had an absolute blast.
Worth Every Bump in the Road
Italy tested my patience, my parking skills, and my waistband, but it also reminded me why I love travelling in the first place.
It’s unpredictable, infuriating, hilarious, and completely addictive. You’ll leave slightly exhausted, your wallet empty & desperate for a comfy loo seat, but 100% glad you went. ❤️
Ciao Italy, Arrivederci. See you next time! 🇮🇹🍕
What’s your favourite thing to love to hate in Italy? I’d love to hear your experiences!
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Jo — “my knees aren’t built for that kind of balancing act” deserves its own warning label at the Italian border. The missing toilet seats are truly the great unspoken test of character.
This whole piece nails the love-to-hate rhythm of Italy. The driving-as-contact-sport, the mysterious signage, the ‘two beds means one bed plus optimism’ housing logic — all maddening, all somehow forgiven by the next espresso or gelato.
I laughed out loud at “I’ve had less eye contact on a date,” and also deeply respected the stray broccoli plea. Italy really does ask you to surrender control and expectations… sometimes at speed, on a cliff, with a Fiat Panda inches from your bumper.
Chaotic, glorious, occasionally bladder-testing — and still completely worth it. Which is very on brand for Italy.
—Kelly