The irony wasn’t lost on me as I stood swapping my estrogen patch in the toilet of the hostel we were staying at near Castle Junction 🇨🇦.
I’m 53, and I was sharing a dorm with about a dozen women half my age, all of them apparently able to sleep through anything and wake up looking fresh as a daisy.
While I, eye bags and all, peeled an HRT patch off my hip in a shared bathroom, having already taken my levothyroxine just so my thyroid could function!
Ah the joys of ageing. 🫤
I’m not going to lie, there are times I find myself wishing I’d done all this when I was younger. All this backpacking, dorm-sleeping, mountain-chasing, road-tripping-through-the-wild business.
Maybe it was something I should have done at 23, not 53. Like somehow I missed the memo that I was supposed to do all this back then, and now am doing it slightly out of time, estrogen patches and all.
But of course that’s crap. Here’s why.
Believe What’s Useful Not What’s True
Here’s what’s true.
I’m 53, with arthritic knees and an exercise history I’m not particularly proud of. My husband Rhett is newly 50 (going on 90) with a shoulder injury that’s somehow taken over his entire body, and knocked him for six these last few weeks. (We sound like a complete recipe for successful backpacking, right? 😂)
That might be true, but it isn’t very useful.
Because here’s what’s also true. I have never felt more alive, more energised, or frankly more young than I do when I’m travelling. I wrote a whole piece about that a couple of weeks back, about how travel might be the best anti-ageing strategy on earth, and I meant every word of it.
Out here, moving through the world, I feel 20 years younger than my knees would have me believe.
So I get to choose which of those truths I build my life around. The arthritis and the dodgy shoulder, or the aliveness, the energy, and the pull of the next mountain.
I know which one I’m picking.
And that feeling of ‘I wish I’d done it younger’ is one of the most useless feelings there is, because it points backwards at a version of your life that’s no longer available! It’s gone, past, done. Move on.
And I’m not just talking about backpacking or travelling. All of us over 50 know the pang.
The business you wish you’d started.
The book you wish you’d written.
The dream you wish you’d chased.
“I wish I’d started younger.”
Well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you didn’t. Neither did I, and no amount of wishing is going to change it.
Climbing Mountains at 53
Interestingly I was recently reading the story of a lady by the name of Junko Tabei.
In 1975, she became the first woman to reach the summit of Everest. She was 35, a mother of two, from a poor farming family, and had spent her life being told women should be raising children, not climbing mountains. 🙄
Days before reaching the summit an avalanche buried her (and her team) unconscious high on the mountain. Her sherpas dug her out. She could barely walk, rested for two days, then carried on and reached the top (on her own).
Then, at the ripe old age of 53 (my age), she became the first woman to complete the Seven Summits, the highest peak on every continent! 😳
She had a personal goal to climb the highest mountain in every country, and guess what, she reached the top in more than 70 of them. She wrote seven books in her late fifties and sixties, went back to university at 60, and was still leading expeditions months before she died at 77, climbing with cancer, refusing to stop.
Her motto was simple. “Do not give up. Keep on your quest.”
I mean, wowee. What an attitude.
What I love most about her story is that she just didn’t stop. Age never defined who she was and what she could accomplish. Every goal she achieved became the foundation for the next goal.
And I think we sometimes forget that (at least I do).
I start to feel like a beginner all over again, particularly when navigating new territory, like a new platform, a new hobby, or a whole new chapter.
But we need to remind ourselves we’re not starting from nothing. We’ve got decades of experience behind us, and the foundations of everything we need.
Even when the specific thing we’re looking at feels brand new (like a new summit to climb), we need to draw on what we already know.
Whatever you’ve spent your life doing, whether it was raising a family, running a home, building a career or mastering a craft, none of it has been wasted time. It’s all the foundation your next chapter gets built on.
And right now is younger than we’ll ever be again. Today we are the youngest we’ll ever be for the rest of our lives. So if not now, when?
The Lakes & Canyons of The Rockies
Yesterday we visited Moraine Lake. It’s absolutely stunning, here see for yourself.
As we were walking up to the rockpiles for a better view, we passed two ladies who’d stumbled and fallen (and were being actively aided by friends/family), one on the way up the other on the way down. Both easily in their 70s or 80s.
I had two thoughts at exactly the same time. First - “they’re bloody troopers. Brilliant that they’re up here, still going, not letting unsteady feet stop them from doing what they want”.
Second - “I want to be strong enough, at that age, that I’m not unsteady. That my legs can still carry me confidently up and down uneven steps and pathways.”
There’s no guarantees in life of course, but seeing those women out there doing it despite their frailties, made me think about how much of what we achieve is down to our minds not just our bodies.
These thoughts stayed with me as we walked around Emerald Lake, with views that looked like a painting.
As we hiked up to Lake Louise, because we couldn’t get parking or a shuttle (note to self, be more organised in your planning!).
And as I walked up through Marble Canyon listening to kids moan to their parents - “I don’t want to see another waterfall!” 😂
But it really hit me.
We can ‘think’ about what we want until the cows come home.
But it’s the ‘doing’ that makes things possible.
Every time I hike, it makes me want to hike more.
Every walk makes me want to get stronger so I can do the next one better.
Movement creates the appetite for more movement.
And it isn’t just about hiking, backpacking, travelling or mountains. It’s about life itself.
Last week I did a Substack Live, loved it, and can’t wait to do more.
My book is almost finished, and I’m already thinking about the next one.
Every time I write an article that resonates, I want to write the next one.
Doing begets more doing. Doing creates the hunger to do the next thing, again, further, higher, longer.
It’s a virtuous cycle.
So whatever you’ve been telling yourself you’re too old for, the business, the book, the trip, the course, the move, the change, you’re not too old. You might feel too late sometimes, but that’s just a feeling, not a fact.
Unfortunately, whatever hasn’t been done, can’t be done younger. None of us can go back. But you can decide to do it today, with everything you’ve accumulated behind you as fuel, not baggage.
Over to You
What have you been telling yourself you’re too old for?
What’s the thing you keep filing under “I wish I’d started younger.” Or that you assume the window’s closed on. A version of your life you’ve decided isn’t available anymore.
What if it still is?
What if today, the youngest you’ll ever be again, is exactly the right time to start?
Tell me in the comments. Sometimes saying it out loud is the first step towards doing it.
Right, I’m off. There’s a mountain out there with my name on it. (Well, a gentle, knee-friendly, arthritis-approved trail with my name on it. But you get the idea.) 😉
Jo 🥰
A Few for Fun
Because the last week hasn’t all been profound mountain reflection!
Canada - you’ve been amazing! 🇨🇦 Until next time! 🥰
Is that the Ghost Town at Three Valley Gap? I’ve driven past 100 times and keep saying we should stop and have a look. (I am currently working in Banff and one of my daughters is in Kelowna). I’m currently trying to prove I’m not too old to run a marathon. 🫣
I'm absolutely with you! I write a Substack called Life on the High Wire, all about what you're living and writing about. I'm launching an arts and culture journal in Tucson, AZ, on top of a few other projects to support creatives, as well as continuing to pursue my own writing and photography. And I just turned 61. You're never too old to follow a dream or chase down an adventure. I'm here cheering you on!