Why 'Be More Authentic Online' Is Only Half the Advice You Need

Why nobody wants you to post 'am knackered, send snacks', and where the line actually sits.

Me looking authentically ‘pissed off’ soaked on a hanging bridge in Monteverde 🇨🇷

I'm writing this somewhere over the Pacific, running on three hours' sleep and a small bag of plane pretzels, having left Costa Rica at an hour that doesn't really count as morning or night. 🫩

But I wanted to talk about authenticity online, because of two back to back articles I recently read from writers I follow on Substack.

The first was a beautifully written piece by Scott Stillman about uncovering who we truly are after years of self improvement, conformity, and performance (and proudly loving that version.)

The second was by Tim Denning who’s a bit abrupt for my tastes, but he has a keen mind & I enjoy a lot of his theories and examples.

He wrote about how we’re entering the ‘authenticity era’ online, & how if you want to win the internet stop performing (there’s that word again) and be more you!

(It’s all a bit silly really isn’t it - who else am I going to be?)

But I found it interesting that one of the biggest observations I made through my 30 day writing practice was this great realisation that imperfect daily posts written from the heart (and the road) would likely outperform sporadic perfectly prepared polished, performative articles.

That my authentic self would be a greater pull than my outward facing ‘how to’ content. And then all of a sudden I read 2 back to back articles about authenticity?

Either this is a growing trend, or my reticular activating system has gone into overdrive.

Either way it’s a conundrum.

Because if I was being truly authentic right now, this whole post would simply read ‘am knackered, send snacks’.

It might be true, but it’s not particularly interesting.

So when presenting ourselves online (and perhaps in real life) we need to balance authenticity with performance. It’s not an all or nothing thing.

To me, authenticity is your voice. Your worldview, your observations. The stuff that’s completely uniquely you.

Like for example the fact that the beach is my happy place, I hate cold weather, I have an unhealthy addiction to Yorkshire Tea, I love marmite (but will eat Vegemite too), I’m a movie buff, a child of the 80s, my fave movie ever is ‘Working Girl’ with Sigourney Weaver & Melanie Griffith followed closely by the first Avatar, and I love rock music in particular the Foo Fighters & Linkin Park.

That’s a mix of stories no one else can tell authentically (unless of course you love and hate all the same stuff I do - which if that’s you, call me, we have a lot to discuss! 😁).

But performance is choosing which stories you’re prepared to share, and what elements of your personality you’re willing to expose to your audience and to those around you.

And let’s face it, we’re always performing just a little bit depending on who’s in the room.

I agree with Scott, that we don’t always need to be striving for greatness, and will find greater happiness in liking who we are, as we are.

I also agree with Tim, people are looking for less polished, and more real and raw content online which is a huge advantage for those of us without the patience or inclination to edit reels for hours, or create magazine-worthy graphics.

But whichever direction you choose to take, please remember we are not just what we do online.

We are not measured by our follower count, our open rates, or our engagement numbers. Our whole life does not have to be a performance, despite what our digital life would have us believe.

Life is happening around us, it’s up to us to live it.

Right, that’s enough performance, the authentic me is off for some shut eye!

📍Somewhere between Costa Rica and San Diego. ✈️

P.S. Here’s the links to Scott & Tim’s posts.

The Greatest Human Flaw

The Secret to Winning the Internet